The Breakfast that never was
by Kali and Mimi
Summary: The Gundam Wing boys attempt to make their breakfast one day.


The Breakfast that Never Was   
  
Kaosu Buraindo: Dear lord, this is gonna be stupid. I can see it now…*goes into a trance*…wait, no, I Can't see it o.O oh well.   
Mimi: Yah it will be but oh well! But why am I writing this fic with you and not Kali??   
Kaosu Buraindo: Cause I kick butt that's why. Don't I kick butt?   
All: BOOO!!!!   
Kaosu Buraindo: Aww….   
Mimi: Awh poor you do you people love me??? Come on my fics are half done!   
All: hhiiiisssssss…   
Kaosu Buraindo: Haha!   
Mimi: Oh well at least we are writing one now. So people you can't complain come on Kaosu lets write.   
Kaosu Buraindo: Heck yes!   
Warnings: Extreme silliness. Possibly some swearing if I'm in a bad mood. And you KNOW there will be Relena bashing.   
Disclaimer: I don't own GundamWing damnit!   
  
~***~   
  


The Breakfast that Never Was 

  
  
~***~   
  
Duo:*wakes up…on the floor* Nani? Why is my bed so dang har- oh -_-. Dangit, I gotta stop falling outta my bed. *gets up, scratches his butt and grabs his rope. Try's to open the door and put his robe on at the same time but ends up tearing it.* Dangit!! *grumbles and kicks the door open, wearing a ripped robe.*   
  
Wufei:* Walks into the house all sweaty* Good workout, I am now strong for today. *sits down at the kitchen table and blinks sleepily* Hn. I gotta stop getting up…so…early…-THUD- *Falls asleep, his face slamming onto the table* Zzzz….   
  
Duo:*walks downstairs grumbling about his robe. Sits at the table and stares at Wufei.* Damnit, he wakes up at like 5 in the morning, trains, comes inside to eat and falls asleep at the table. Why the hell don't you just wake up later if your only going to fall back asleep!?   
  
Wufei: Zzzz…..   
  
Trowa and Quatre enter the room from the back door after a morning walk. They both eye the dead tired Wufei who is now being poked by Duo.   
  
Quatre: What is the matter with him?? Did he wake up early again?   
  
Trowa: ….   
  
Duo: Yeah, just like yesterday…and the day before that. He woke up, chopped up a few trees, scared the newspaper boy away and ate the neighbors' cat.   
  
Heero slowly walks in from the basement where he was spending quality time with his laptop.   
  
Heero: *looks over at Wufei* …hmph.   
  
Wufei:*wakes up with a little puddle of drool forming on the table below his chin* Hungry…need…brains…   
  
Duo:*blinks* Nani?   
  
Wufei: Err…I mean, brain FOOD. I need some food that's good for my brain…   
  
Quatre: *stomach growls* Yeah, I need some food too. *Walks over to the fridge to see what is already made.*   
  
Quatre:*looks up and down at the shelves* Um guys there is nothing here but things to make food with. What are we going to do we have no clue how to cook!   
  
Duo:…WE'RE ALL GONNA STARVE TO DEATH!!! *Runs around in circles, screaming obscenities* Waaaaaaaa!!   
  
Wufei: Maxwell, SHUT UP. *Picks up a random object –which happens to be a toaster- and chucks it at Duo*   
  
Duo: -WHACK- *gets hit in the head with the toaster. Wobbles around a bit than falls to the floor* X_X…   
  
Heero: Hey CALM DOWN! I think we can manage one day with making our own breakfast.   
  
All the Gundam boys stare at Heero with an open mouthed expression because this is the first time they ever heard him yell.   
  
Duo: *sits up and rubs his head* Oww…but, Quatre's maids usually make us something! How are we supposed to cook if we've never done it before? Does anyone have some sort of a cookbook?   
  
Wufei: Well, I might have something…   
  
Everyone turns and stares at Wufei with raised eyebrows.   
  
Wufei: What?? I can't have a cook book and Heero can have those pink fuzzy bunny slippers?   
  
Everyone turns to look at Heero.   
  
Heero: *looks down at his own feet* Huh how did those get there? I hate PINK! Oh no, not again Duo didn't you lock the door last night?   
  
Duo: Err…yes?   
  
Heero:*glares at Duo* Well then how did she get in here? Then how am I wearing these these things!   
  
Duo: Umm…you have a new obsession with Pink Bunny Slippers? *looks all innocent*   
  
Heero: I don't think so. *starts to take out his gun from his pants and then chases after Duo*   
  
Duo: EEEKK! *jumps up and runs from Heero, grabbing tables and chairs and flinging them at Him* Take *toss* THIS! *chuck*   
  
Heero:*ducks from flying objects* I will get you Maxwell there is no place to hide! *Starts to open fire at Duo*   
  
Duo: MEEP! *ducks the bullets and runs up to his room, slamming the door behind him*   
  
Wufei: *shakes his head* He'll never learn. Look, I'm starved, can we please get going with breakfast? Maybe you people have no lives but I have things to do today.   
  
Trowa: Yeah I have to go and um well I have to go out.   
  
Quatre: Yeah I have to go and find someone to make lunch and diner for us.   
  
Duo: *screams through his door* WHAT ABOUT BREAKFAST?   
  
Wufei: I'LL start it. *Whips out his cookbook from hammerspace and reads a few lines. Grabs some eggs and flower and tosses them into a bowl.*   
  
Duo: *walks back downstairs wearing a bulletproof vest. Looks into Wufei's bowl and snickers* Uhh…Wufei, your supposed to crack the eggshells first, and put what's INSIDE the eggs into the bowl.   
  
Wufei: I knew that! *Grabs an egg and lays it on the counter. Unsheathes his katana and slices the egg in half, causing yolk to spray everywhere.*   
  
Quatre: *tries to check if the toaster is still working after being bashed* Well I will make the toast!   
  
Trowa: *searches through cupboard for a frying pan* And I will make the sausages and bacon. But where are they?   
  
Duo:*looks up from the bowl-o-mush covered in egg yolk* Ick…hey Heero, what are you gonna make?   
  
Heero: You will see. *begins to mumble* You all will see. *then starts to head for the basement*   
  
Duo:….'Kay…*turns back to Wufei and his attempt at pancakes.* NO! What are you DOING? You have to measure the flower first! You can't just pour the whole bag into the bowl!   
  
Wufei: What makes you the cooking expert? Are those suppose to be eggs you're making?   
  
Duo: *looks down at his pan, which is splashed with egg yolk and eggshells* It always looks this bad when It's starting out! As soon as it starts to cook it'll look better.   
  
Quatre: Um Guys!? *looks down at toaster* Um Guys! Its not popping up! What is happening is it done yet? Well hello? Are you people listening to me??   
  
Wufei and Duo are fighting over whose breakfast looks worse, Trowa is still looking for the bacon and sausages, and Heero has disappeared into the basement, leaving poor Quatre on his own.   
  
Duo: WUFEI! What the hell are you doing? I said MEASURE the water, look the bowl is overflowing!   
  
Wufei: Pay attention to your own pan, Maxwell! Your eggs are starting to smoke.   
  
Duo: ITAI! Help! Fire!   
  
Wufei: Dump it in the sink! Dump it in the sink!!!   
  
Trowa: Where the hell are these stupid sausages! *mutter to himself about how if he only had teamed up with Heero* Oh wait here they are!   
  
Duo: ITAI! My hand! It's burnt!   
  
Wufei: Put it under cold water!   
  
Duo: I can't damnit your stupid bowl of mush is still being filled up with water!   
  
Wufei: Oh, no! Now there's no more mix left ;_;   
  
Duo: I told you! You should have measured it, but nooooo, no one listens to me!   
  
Quatre: GUYS! What is happening with this toast it has been ten minutes and some black smoke is coming out! What is happening with these things! *He stops to look at the others who are having as much bad luck. He turns back only to see the toaster go up in flames* GGGGGGGGGGUUUUUUUYYYYYSSSS!!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!! *He then tries to unplug it but catches on fire in the attempt*   
  
Duo:*sniffles* My egg's…*sniffs again*…hey…I smell something…*sniffs the air one more time and scrunches up his nose* I smell…SMOKE!? *whips around and sees Quatre running around in circles, his whole arm on fire* ACK! FIRE!!!   
  
Wufei: *stops weeping over the loss of his pancake mix and looks up* KISAMA! FIRE! *grabs a dishtowel and beats Quatre's arm with it*   
  
Duo: *grabs the toaster and tosses it into the sink. Opens the facet and lets the cold water splash onto it* Common fire go out! Out out out out…*waits patiently by the sink as the flames slowly start to go out* Ooo..pretty…   
  
Trowa:*realizes what happens and turns around as everything begins to die down* Um what happened here?   
  
Quatre is laying on the floor, his entire arm is black. Wufei is sitting slumped on the floor next to him, clutching a bowl of watery pancake mix. Duo is watching the sink with starry eyes, and Heero is still downstairs. Trowa shrugs and goes back to frying his bacon and sausages.   
  
Duo:*pouts* Aww…fires all gone…   
  
Wufei: My…*sniff*..pancakes…*grabs the burnt dishtowel off the ground and hugs it* Poor Mr.Towel…*cries*   
  
Trowa: Oh well at least my food is still edible. *turns back to frying bacon and sausages, but everything is now little dried crisps* Oh well…   
  
Quatre: But but my toast! It was going so well till till you people didn't answer me! *pouts and stares over at the toaster in the sink*   
  
Duo:*picks up the melted toaster and hands it to Quatre* It had a good life…a full life…until you killed it.   
  
Quatre:*Sinks back down on the floor cradling the poor dead toaster. Then quietly coos* Its alright toastie, its alright. I will give you a good burial.   
  
Wufei: Injustice! My pancakes never had a chance to live! And…and…I killed the dishtowel! I don't deserve to live…*gets up and walks towards the window.* Goodbye, cruel world…*dives right threw it*   
  
Duo: *looks up as he hears glass shatter* Wufei?…Wufei?? *runs over to the window and looks down, Wufei is laying on the lawn, his eyes clenched shut* Eh…Wufei?   
  
Wufei: I can't hear you, I'm dead.   
  
Duo: Umm…but, you only jumped out the living room window. You fell like, 2 feet.   
  
Wufei:*opens his eyes and looks around* Ah, Crap! The gods hate me! They want me to live a horrible life, that's why they let me survive that fall…   
  
Duo: Yes, of course Wufei, gods hate you and that's why you didn't die by jumping out of a window on the main floor -_-. You really made a mess of your clothes though…   
  
Trowa: NO my beautiful sausages I only just found them and now they are gone! *sheds a tear* But they would have been so delicious it is not fair!   
  
Duo: Oh yeah? At least they once looked like sausages. My eggs always sucked ;_;. Hey, where is Heero?   
  
Wufei:*brushes some glass off his arm* I don't know, isn't he downstairs somewhere?   
  
Quatre: Yeah where is he he has been down there for a long time. I wonder if she got him??   
  
Trowa: Hmph he is probably sleeping or with his precious laptop. I hope the one who can only be refered to as she hasn't gotten' him.   
  
Duo:*gasps* No! Not, SHE.   
  
Wufei: We would have heard gunshots if she was down there. Or at least a loud annoying 'HEEEEERRRRROOOO' or something to that extent.   
  
Heero then trots in the front door and sits at the kitchen table with his eyes closed. He doesn't say a word to anyone.   
  
Duo:*blinks and walks up to Heero. Taps him on the arm* Hey, Heero! Where have you been?   
  
Heero:*turns to him and says nothing but 'humph'*   
  
Wufei: I think he's broken.   
  
Duo:*laughs at Wufei's remark and taps Heero again* Oh common, man. Don't be like that. Did you make something for breakfast or what? I'm starving ;_;   
  
Quatre: Yeah why won't you talk did she do something to you like take your tongue? *imagines about an evil girl stealing Heero's tongue*   
  
Trowa: Yeah come on say something other than hmph!   
  
Duo:*snorts* Your one to talk, Trowa.   
  
Trowa:*glares at Duo* Shut up Maxwell!   
  
Heero: Nope I can talk *opens one eye* I just have nothing to say to any of you.   
  
Duo: Pssshh, fine than! Yeesh, you can't get any more anti-social than that. And now I'm going to starve to death! No one succeeded in making a half decent breakfast. Didn't you even try anything Heero?   
  
Heero: Didn't have to I was the smart one here.   
  
Wufei:*blinks* What are you talking about, Yuy?   
  
Quatre: Huh?   
  
Heero:*looks around the room and smirks*I went out for breakfast.   
  
Everyone sweatdrops and falls anime style.   
  
Everyone: Why didn't WE think of that!?   
  
Heero: Because I am the smart one.   
  


The End! 

  
  
~***~   
Kaosu Buraindo: Wahahaha! We had a little too much fun writing that.   
Mimi: Yah I know. Imagine if we had done some of the stuff we had said we were going to do.   
Kaosu Buraindo: I probably would have been in Duo's situation with the eggs, I can't cook eggs worth beans.   
Mimi: I would have been Heero who would have gone out to eat. Mmmmm…food..   
Kaosu Buraindo: Hey! I would have thought of that too! It's just that breakfast isn't one of my favorite meals, and If I didn't have anything to eat for breakfast, I would have just skipped it and eaten a big lunch.   
Mimi: I would have eaten some toast and eggs and maybe a backed potato with fruit. Mmm.. I'm hungry.   
Kaosu Buraindo: Well I'll admit your breakfasts seem a lot better than mine. Dangit, we're talking to much. Anywho, hope you liked the fic! R&R!   
Mimi: Yeah hope you do and maybe we shouldn't write another fic together we get to crazy and hungry! ^_^ Oh well bye bye   
Kaosu Buraindo: JA! 


End file.
